


"I want everything with you"

by DiaboloFramboise



Series: In an Angel's head [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Kissing, M/M, a lot of cuddles, a lot of fluff, a lot of snuggling, aziraphale needs to prove to crowley he can trust him, bed sharing, but he's afraid aziraphale will break his heart, dinner at the ritz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20366215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiaboloFramboise/pseuds/DiaboloFramboise
Summary: This takes place after the dinner at the Ritz. Crowley is hesitant to make evolve their relationship into something more because he fears that Aziraphale will break his heart. Aziraphale needs to prove to Crowley that Crowley can trust him and is very determined to do so . A bit of angst and then a lot of fluff and cuddles and kisses.You can read the first part of the series if you want to see Aziraphale and Crowley the night after the failed apocalypse, with Azirapahle thinking about how things could evolve between them, and Crowley being surprisingly hesitant about a possible shifting in their relationship.





	"I want everything with you"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my so nice beta reader handlebarstiedtothestars for her precious help and feedback :-)

The plan with the body swap was a complete success, and Aziraphale and Crowley were finally able to enjoy their victory over heaven and hell. They decided to celebrate their newfound freedom at the Ritz, happily eating and drinking, talking, and smiling at each other. Crowley seemed content and relaxed, and Aziraphale wasn’t sure if he should approach the subject of _them_ so soon after Crowley told him he didn’t want to talk about it. The place wasn’t really appropriate for such a conversation anyway, so, for now, Aziraphale decided to simply enjoy the time they were spending together. 

After dinner Aziraphale invited Crowley for a drink at the book shop. He noticed Crowley’s hesitation with a twinge of anxiety, before Crowley finally nodded his agreement. Aziraphale sighed in relief as they began the route towards the bookshop, both of them falling silent for the first time that evening. It wasn’t uneasy or uncomfortable; it could never be between two beings who knew each other so well and for so long. Over the years silence had became another way to be at ease together, and after the constant stimulation of the Ritz, they simply needed a moment of quiet with their own thoughts.

They resumed their chatter once they were settled on Aziraphale’s couch with a nice bottle of wine. Now that they were alone together Aziraphale was restless, unable to decide if, or how, he should try to talk to Crowley about what was on his mind. Crowley had been firm on the fact that he didn’t want to talk about their relationship, but his main reservation was their imminent potential deaths. Now that this issue was settled, maybe he would agree to broach the subject.

While Aziraphale was debating with himself, Crowley suddenly stood up, announcing he was going home. A wave of panic overcame Aziraphale, completely short circuiting his ability to think. He jumped to his feet, anxiously taking a step toward Crowley.

“I was hoping we would share the same bed again,” he blurted clumsily.

Crowley stiffened briefly before sitting back on the couch with a heavy sigh, looking at his hands.

“What do you want, Aziraphale?” he finally asked on a low voice.

Aziraphale cautiously sat next to Crowley, and tried to smile despite his state of increasing panic.

“Everything,” he murmured. “I want everything, Crowley. The good and the bad, the mornings and the evenings, the breakfasts, the dinners, the tears and the smiles, the arguments and the reconciliations. _Everything._”

Crowley swallowed hard and looked away from Aziraphale.

“Where has this come from?” he asked hoarsely.

“It hasn’t really come from anywhere,” Aziraphale answered thoughtfully. “I think it has always been there but I have never wanted to acknowledge it because it was too complicated given our respective jobs. Now that we are free of them, I can finally be honest with myself.” 

Crowley made a fragile noise of understanding but stayed silent for so long that Aziraphale couldn’t help it any longer.

“I wouldn’t want to seem presumptuous,” he started cautiously “but I was under the impression…”

Aziraphale’s voice trailed off; he was not sure how to keep going.

“You were under the impression I wanted more,” Crowley finished for him.

Aziraphale nodded.

“You are perfectly right,” Crowley admitted quietly. “I have always wanted more, angel. This is precisely why I need to be particularly cautious right now.”

Aziraphale frowned with lack of understanding, and Crowley smiled sadly.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?” he asked softly. “I have wanted everything with you since the very beginning, Aziraphale. I dreamt and hoped for this for as long as I can remember.”

Aziraphale swallowed hard at the painful admission, and Crowley closed his eyes, his features set in an excruciating expression.

“You need to be _absolutely_ sure that this is what you want,” Crowley continued with difficulty.”We can’t try this, _us_, just for you to realize after a while that this is not what you want after all. I wouldn’t survive it, angel. I would never be able to go back to being friends if we had tried being more. It would kill me.”

Aziraphale was the one to close his eyes this time, each fiber of his body aching at the raw pain perceptible in Crowley’s voice. Aziraphale had hurt Crowley in the past, and Crowley’s heart was still suffering from the damages that Aziraphale had caused. And now, Aziraphale was asking Crowley to put his already damaged heart on the line again, without knowing if Aziraphale would take care of it or break it once more. It was an almost cruel thing to ask.

Aziraphale tentatively took Crowley’s hands in his, squeezing tightly. 

“I understand,” he said. “I hurt you in the past and you’re not sure I won’t do it again.” Aziraphale hesitated. “The thing is, there is no way you or even I can know for sure that this, _us_, is going to work,” he continued. “That’s the thing with relationships, I believe. You try, you do your best, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. I can’t tell you the contrary.” 

Aziraphale paused and squeezed Crowley’s hands harder.

“What I _can_ tell you however, is that I want this more than I ever wanted anything,” Aziraphale said strongly. “I love you. I have loved you for millennia even if I didn’t want to admit it. I know everything about you and I can’t think of one thing that could make me stop loving you.”

Aziraphale’s voice trailed off in a shaky sigh. “I promise you I will do everything in my power to erase the pain I caused you and to make you happy from now on,” Aziraphale whispered. “There is nothing I want more. Please let me make you happy, Crowley.”

Crowley’s hands were shaking in Aziraphale’s, and he had a haunted look on his face that made Aziraphale physically ache. 

“_Please_,” Aziraphale murmured again.

Crowley squeezed Aziraphale’s hands in his with a trembling breathe.

“You make it very difficult to say no,” he exhaled.

“Does that mean you’re saying yes?” Aziraphale asked, his voice colored with a tinge of desperation.

Crowley hesitated a while longer.

“It means I’m saying I need a bit of time to get used to the idea,” he answered finally. “We can level up our relationship a bit if you want to, but I want to take things slow.”

“Level up our relationship?” Aziraphale questioned, a bit unsure of what Crowley meant.

“I quite liked sharing a bed with you yesterday,” Crowley admitted. “As well as holding hands, so let’s start with that, ok?” 

Aziraphale nodded eagerly, ready to take anything Crowley was willing to give him. 

“Anything you want,” he promised. “You set the pace.”

Crowley smiled sadly.

“It seems like after millennia of going too fast for you, you finally caught up with me and overtook me, angel” he remarked. 

Aziraphale pulled a face. “The irony of that is not lost on me, believe me,” he said grumpily and Crowley couldn’t help but laugh. 

*******************

Aziraphale and Crowley settled on a new routine together, tentatively including affectionate gestures and sweet words in their daily interactions. Crowley was still very cautious though, and Aziraphale was very attentive in maintaining a slow pace. 

They were spending a fair amount of nights together, alternating between the bookshop and Crowley’s flat when his plants were in need of watering. Crowley seemed always happy to hold Aziraphale into his arms during these nights, even if he was never the one to initiate the embrace. Crowley always waited for Aziraphale to place his face on his chest before wrapping his arms around Aziraphale and pulling him closer. Crowley would then arrange their limbs to fit comfortably together, and held Aziraphale tight against him even after falling asleep. 

Aziraphale got so used sleeping wrapped in Crowley’s arms, he had serious difficulty getting to sleep on the nights he was sleeping alone. His bed, which he used to love for being warm and comfortable suddenly appeared to be cold and sad and _empty_. Aziraphale had never shared his bed with anyone before Crowley. He had no idea how to deal with this agonizing loneliness he was experiencing for the first time in his existence when being alone at night.

After a few weeks, Crowley had to leave London for around ten days to take care of a mysterious business he didn’t seem to keen on talking about with Aziraphale. Aziraphale didn’t push, knowing it has nothing to do with them, and that Crowley would talk about it eventually. Aziraphale said goodbye with a heavy heart, chastising himself for being so upset. What was ten days in their lives? They went _decades_ without seeing each other, and now he was moping for ten days? How pathetic was that? Pathetic or not, Aziraphale barely slept during Crowley’s absence. 

He technically didn’t need to sleep, but his body had grown accustomed to a regular sleeping schedule, so it was difficult to go without it now. When Crowley came back, he immediately noticed the dark circles around Aziraphale’s eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked by way of hello.

Aziraphale didn’t answer, but went straight into Crowley’s arms, looping his arms around Crowley’s chest, eagerly snuggling into him and breathing his scent. Crowley immediately wrapped his arms around Aziraphale but reiterated his question.

“What’s wrong, angel?” he questioned against Aziraphale’s hair.

Aziraphale shook his head into Crowley’s neck.

“Nothing is wrong,” he assured. “I just missed you very deeply.”

Aziraphale could sense Crowley’s smile in his voice when he answered.

“I missed you too.”

Crowley took a step back to look at Aziraphale and frowned again.

“Did you sleep at all while I was gone?” he asked.

Aziraphale nodded vigorously but Crowley gave him a warning look and Aziraphale shrugged.

“I never have the best sleep when you’re not with me,” Aziraphale admitted in a low voice.

Crowley looked at Aziraphale with concern before wrapping his arms around him again, pulling him as close to him as he could.

“I’ll remember that,” Crowley promised.

****************

They were watching a movie at Aziraphale’s flat. They had a good meal with enjoyable conversation, a few bottles of wine had been drunk, and two cups of tea were now settled on the coffee table in front of the couch. The atmosphere was pleasant and comfortable, oozing warm serenity. Aziraphale was nonetheless in a grumpy mood, because Crowley was sitting at the other end of the couch, seeming too engrossed in the movie to pay attention to him. Crowley had his feet on the coffee table and his arms crossed in front of him, a quiet smile playing on his lips as he was intensely watching the screen. 

Aziraphale cleared his throat, fidgeting and twisting on the couch, hoping to attract Crowley’s attention. Crowley cast a brief glance at Aziraphale before turning his attention back to the movie. With a frustrated sigh, Aziraphale slid slowly across the couch, silently getting closer to Crowley. When he reached Crowley’s side, Aziraphale nudged him softly, making Crowley turn his head toward him with a questioning look. By way of answer, Aziraphale unfolded Crowley’s arm and looped one of them around his own shoulder. Crowley chuckled as he pulled Aziraphale against him.

“Sorry, angel. I’m being rude,” Crowley said with a teasing smile.

“Very rude,” Aziraphale approved warmly, nestling into Crowley’s side and burrowing his head into the demon’s neck. Crowley took Aziraphale’s legs to swing them into his own laps and wrapped his arms tightly around the angel’s frame.

*******************

Crowley was about to leave as he had decided to go sleep in his own flat tonight, and Aziraphale was moody about it. The weather was terrible this early evening. The rain was pouring heavily against the windows, the thunder was crashing nearby, the wind was blowing loudly, and it was already completely dark outside. The only thing Aziraphale could think about right now was cuddling with Crowley, because what else was one to do in a weather like that? 

Aziraphale wouldn’t say that he wanted to _tempt_ Crowley into staying with him. _Convince_, maybe. _Persuade_, probably. But tempting was not his job, right? It would be completely unworthy of an angel, so it was definitely not what he was trying to do. No. Not at all.

Without looking at Crowley, Aziraphale closed the thick curtains against the dark and the cold with a shiver. He waved his hand to miracle a crackling fire into the fireplace, the flames coloring the room with a beautiful dim light. Aziraphale switched off all the lamps, except for one with a soft orange glow. He settled on his chaise lounge, looking adorably warm and comfy into his tartan pyjamas. Aziraphale arranged a thick plaid blanket on his legs, and reclined against a pile of comfy cushions with a sigh of contentment. A cup of hot cocoa appeared on the coffee table along with a book. The whole scene oozed comfort, warmth and peacefulness, especially when Aziraphale might have discreetly increased the sound of the rain and the thunder outside. Crowley was looking fondly at Aziraphale’s preparations, a very amused smile on his lips. 

“You are cheating, angel,” Crowley chastised teasingly.

Aziraphale shrugged. “I have no idea what you are talking about, my dear,” he answered, falsely offended. “I’m just settling in for the evening, that is all.” 

“Weren’t you supposed to leave anyway?” Aziraphale added for good measure. 

Crowley chuckled and Aziraphale opened his arms with an expectant look. Crowley crossed the room to sit next to Aziraphale, and settled right into his open arms with a warm laugh. 

“You are quite good at temptation for an angel, you know,” Crowley whispered, fond amusement coloring his voice. “Who would want to leave into the rain when you went into so much trouble to set up this perfect atmosphere?”

“Does it mean you are staying tonight?” Aziraphale asked hopefully.

Crowley nodded his agreement against Aziraphale’s neck, pressing their bodies closer together.

“You are the only one I want to tempt, my darling,” Aziraphale assured. “The only one I want for everything.”

******************

A few days later, as Aziraphale was settling into Crowley’s side for the night, Crowley unexpectedly leaned and pecked Aziraphale on the lips. It was just a too brief press of lips, almost too light to be felt, but it shook Aziraphale to his core.

Crowley swallowed. “Couldn’t help it,” he murmured.

Aziraphale cleared his throat.

“Please don’t help it,” he said a bit hoarsely. “Feel free to do that as much as you want.”

Crowley smiled, and took to the habit of kissing Aziraphale good night whenever they were spending the night together. It was never more than a fleeting touch of his lips, a ghost brush on Aziraphale’s mouth, and it was absolutely _maddening_ in its brevity. Aziraphale was very careful to respect the boundaries Crowley had asked for, but it was becoming more and more difficult. His body reacted very strongly to Crowley’s closeness, and Aziraphale was finding Crowley’s restraint harder and harder to endure.

One night where he felt a bit more daring than usual, Aziraphale pressed harder on Crowley’s lips, hoping, wanting, _craving_ that Crowley’s self control would finally break, but Crowley pulled back as quickly as usual. Aziraphale couldn’t help the flash of hurt that crossed his face at how badly the rejection stung. Aziraphale tried his best to hide it with a feeble smile, but given the worried way Crowley looked at him, he must have done a very poor job. Crowley widely opened his arms, clearly trying to offer a way to soothe the rejection. Aziraphale eagerly cuddled into Crowley’s body, relishing in the familiar comforting scent, and letting himself being lull to sleep by Crowley’s steady heartbeat. 

Crowley seemed very thoughtful the following day, silently running errands around the bookshop all day long, and moving a lot of dust for nothing. He went to bed long after Aziraphale, who was still reading when he finally entered the bedroom. Crowley stayed wordlessly on the threshold until Aziraphale raised his head, a question on his lips. The question was never asked, as Crowley muffled it by swiftly crossing the room to cup Aziraphale’s face with his hands, and pressed their lips together. 

He simply kept their mouths pressed together for a while, giving Aziraphale the time to blindly throw his book away and put his shaking hands over Crowley’s forearms to bring him closer. Aziraphale sighed heavily against Crowley’s mouth, his mind racing with a million incoherent thoughts and his heart hammering inside his chest.

Crowley slipped a hand behind Aziraphale’s neck to keep him in place as he finally, _finally_ moved his lips and deepened the kiss, slowly, languorously, taking the time to savor every second of it. Aziraphale moaned, feverishly letting Crowley map and learn every corner of his mouth for as long as he wanted. Crowley was thorough, exploring, caressing, nibbling, _worshipping_ Aziraphale’s mouth.

When Crowley pulled back to exhale a shaky sigh, Aziraphale followed blindly with a whimper of protest at the loss of contact. Crowley dove back right away onto Aziraphale’s lips, soothing the whimper away with another hungry, deep kiss, followed by a stream of soft kisses peppered all over Aziraphale’s face. He then impatiently went back to Aziraphale’s lips, drawn to them like a magnet. When Crowley finally moved back after an eternity of learning Aziraphale’s mouth, he was out of breath. 

“I’m sorry I made you sad yesterday,” Crowley exhaled against Aziraphale’s lips.

Aziraphale wanted to protest but Crowley cut him off.

“This is not why I kissed you,” he added hastily. “I kissed you because I wanted to, not as an apology.”

Aziraphale made a relieved sound and pressed a kiss into Crowley’s palm.

“Well, I’m very glad you did,” he said in a trembling breath.

Crowley lay down on the bed, pulling Aziraphale into his arms. 

“Good night, angel,” Crowley murmured. 

By way of answer, Aziraphale placed a soft kiss on Crowley’s neck.

******************************

Five days and about a hundred equally mind blowing and frustrating making out sessions later, Aziraphale was reading on his chaise lounge with Crowley curled up by his side. Without any notice, Crowley suddenly took the book out of Aziraphale’s hand to put it on the coffee table. He then raised Aziraphale’s face toward his with his hands, and dove onto his mouth without a single word. Aziraphale made a small noise of surprise, noise immediately swallowed by Crowley’s hungry mouth. 

He kissed Aziraphale avidly, passionately, keeping Aziraphale’s face firmly in place in his hands, drinking all kinds of delicious sounds from his mouth, over and over again like he would never be able to stop. Crowley had kissed Aziraphale a hundred times over the last few days, but never like that. Never with this all-consuming hunger, never with this frantic desperation, never like it was the only thing he needed for the rest of his life.

Aziraphale moaned as Crowley lowered his body onto his, pinning him to the chaise lounge with all his weight, with his hands clutching, with his voice feverishly murmuring Aziraphale’s name, with his heart on display for Aziraphale to keep. 

After millennia of giving and giving, Crowley finally started _taking_. He took and took and took from Aziraphale’s mouth, thoroughly and relentlessly, until Aziraphale was a trembling incoherent mess under him. Crowley paused to look Aziraphale in the eyes, silently asking what he was finally ready to ask, finally sure that Aziraphale wasn’t going to break his heart, finally sure that there was a _them_, now and for all eternity. 

“Yes,” Aziraphale breathed. “Everything, my darling. I want everything with you,” 

Crowley nodded, and taking Aziraphale by the hand, he led the way to the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please let me know what you think, kudos and comments always make my day and fuel my inspiration to keep writing :-)


End file.
